Baby Bear is asleep, with one sock on - I cant for the life of me find the other one! It must be somewhere amongst the mess Baby Bears created! I truly can't be bothered to tidy it up as the second she wakes it'll be back in its current state!
Am not having the best of days today, had barely any sleep and to add to my grumpiness its "that" time of the month! I hate it, I used to breeze through them but since the trauma I feel physically sick the whole time and terrified that it wont end. I actually limit toilet visits so I don't have to see the blood. I'm shaking just writing about it and thinking about it! It feels like the trauma was in a past life now but then once a month it becomes scarily real again!
Am incredibly tired and actually cant concentrate enough to type any more! Might post again later if anything exciting happens!
i read your post about the trauma, so i can totally understand how "that" time of the month would have you panicing! that must have been awful, especially as it happened a while after you had given birth, you think nothing could possibly go wrong! i hope in time that things will get better for you, big hugs xoxo
ReplyDeleteThanks Nikki, I think the issue comes as it happened 21 days after birth - roughly the same amount of time of a monthly cycle. Were still not sure why the placenta decided to dislodge then and not before or later, but we could forever be asking those questions. I feel like it could be related to my body preparing for a period and it then realising something wasn't right, my mum feels awful as earlier we'd hit a rather large pothole and speed bump fast than we should have and that may have dislodged it! who knows? all i know is any blood makes me want to vomit and in someways when its that time of the month now more than ever i want to retreat to my bed and remove myself from the world and ignore whats happening, but with a 8 month old i dont have that luxury!
ReplyDelete