Well hasn't it just. I feel awful for having neglected this for as long as I have. The truth of it is, it got too much, there was too much going on and I just couldn't bring myself to talk about it.
so I'm starting a fresh, from today!
Were in the middle of sorting baby bears christening/first birthday party! I can not believe its nearly been a year! some days I think I'm doing really well other times I think I'm a crap mum and I'm not coping at all.
I don't feel like a normal mum, but I try very hard to tell myself, no I'm not a "normal" mum, I'm a birth trauma mum, who's lucky enough to have not just been blessed with my daughters life but also my own, I am here thanks to the amazing medical staff at the hospital, and due to God wanting me here.
Its hard to be positive all the time but I've got to live, I cant squander this chance. I don't want my daughter to suffer because I'm not coping.
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