Dentist Drama

Once again it seems I cant even achieve the small things in life.

I woke up yesterday morning with killer toothache and a swollen gum! Was agony and I've not been in pain since giving birth! Called the dentist (someone i loathe) and managed to get an appointment for noon.

I must have been driven by the pain as normally the dentist sends me a bit loopy anyway - I put it down to no one ever warning me that having braces removed feels like they're ripping all your teeth out! I was getting slightly panicky so decided to go out and do errands on my way to the dentist.

Went to Aldi for some fresh veggies for Baby Bear - Aldi is really good for value on fresh stuff and its practically our local shop anyway. We then went on to the library to see what books they had on sleep and weaning off dummy's/bottles. Then on our way to the dentist.

Its a fair walk but it helped to walk out some of my fear/panic etc. Managed to get to the dentist early - which was a huge mistake, and registered Baby Bear. My anxiety sky rocketed and the thought of what awaited me was too much. The clinical side of it, the lying on a bed being examined, the lights, the ceiling tiles, that smell.

I was only in the room 5 minutes but I couldn't get out quick enough - be it shaking and crying as I ran out the door. Its moments like that where i realise how truly crappy my life is, and although i got myself there (a huge thing for me as I avoid things that cause high anxiety) I still wasn't in control and didn't cope well, where as normally I'd at least get out the door before crying!

Thankfully there was a light in the tunnel yesterday, Baby Bear's boyfriend (one of them) had his first birthday party! Very exciting as  his mum has been amazing and really helped me feel like a normal mum since meeting her (we went to both primary and secondary school together but our paths never crossed as much as they do now) and its the start of birthday season! Next in line is Baby Bear ekkkkkk!

I am a keen baker although I don't feel my skills are up to business standard - although I do enjoy the practice. I made the Birthday Boy's cake - a number 1 shaped monster in green and yellow. I never realised how difficult it was to find inspiration for boys cakes! Its either football or TV characters. It was nice to see it appreciated - normally my cakes go into my mums work and I never see or hear the yummy noises people make while eating them!

Well Baby Bear has awoke from her nap and I need to get sorted as we have a dinner date with her God Mother!