I've decided to do this as a separate story to the pregnancy as both were quite long and complicated and I feel now the two are two very separate issues. I'd say the actual birth experience I had overall was equivalent to that of the other mummy's on the ward with me, I turned up at 9am on 28th July, relieved and excited at the thought of finally being out off pain, off the crutches and finally achieving yummy mummy status, looking back maybe I was naive or maybe I was just excited.
I had to go threw detox from all my pain med's to help my baby girl be healthy once born, it was heartbreaking to think my daughter may have to go through that because I was in such severe pain but at least I'd done all I could for her by going cold turkey from the pain med's leading up to the birth - it wasn't easy my back would spasm uncontrollably and I'd be in tears from the pain. there was a lot of waiting around that Wednesday morning, apparently there weren't enough beds on the ward so we waited until there were.
I thankfully got the first bed purely because I was in so much pain if I was left any longer before getting a bed I probably would have collapsed. The induction process was a long one! I was given a pessary on the Wednesday evening which would take 24 hours to have any effect. I was 1cm dilated before this process was started, it took over 24 hours for a midwife to check me again and it was not good news, the pessary hadn't worked, meanwhile I could see the other ladies who'd been admitted on the same day as me going into labour and being whisked off to have their babies!
I was given a round of "gels" which should help me get to 2Cm's, once at that point they would take me to delivery and pop my waters and we could start the process of labour. The first round was administered and I should have been checked a few hours later, I wasn't checked and was told "we wont do it up here, you have to be on delivery suite for that" it was so frustrating as all I wanted to know was whether or not when i went to delivery I'd be starting to labour or I'd be sent back up to have another round of gels! Thankfully a midwife I'd met earlier on in my pregnancy and who actually did an amazing job and was the only person in my whole pregnancy who seemed to listen and understand me was on shift and I spoke to her and she checked me over. She told me I was almost 2Cm's and if it were her she'd be able to burst my waters! I found this news out at around midnight on the Friday 30th July, so aimed to get plenty of sleep for the long day ahead.
On Saturday morning I couldn't eat, I was in serious pain and my back spasms were so severe the other ladies and visitors on the ward were concerned for me, a midwife came but I couldn't even speak the pain was awful and I wasn't even in labour! I think because of this I was bumped up the list and shortly before lunch I was taken down to the delivery suite. I was monitored and Daddy Panda and my mum were called and arrived to find my stuff on the ward but me missing! They soon found me down on delivery and the mood changed completely, finally my pain was almost over.
I'd been advised to get an epidural as soon as possible as otherwise I'd struggle to push as I wasn't feeling braxton hicks I wouldn't notice contractions threw my daily pain. My waters were burst and we had to play a new waiting game - would natural labour start or would I need a hormone drip? Answer - hormone drip! Once again my body was failing, something I felt was a constant theme of the last nine months! Luckily I went from 2Cm's to 10Cm's within an hour of my waters being burst and when natural labour didn't establish I was given the hormone drip and an epidural. The pushing stage was due to begin, I was starving by this point and was worried that I'd not eaten all day and wouldn't have the energy to get threw, I was only allowed small sips of water through out labour.
I'd say I entered the delivery suite around lunch time and after around 8 hours of pushing 3 times every 3 minutes and getting no where a decision was made - time for a c-section. It was 10pm by this point. I was devastated that yet again I'd failed and my daughter was about to be born to the most unsuccessful mummy ever! While things were being arranged I started vomiting and there was some concern my baby was in distress.
I was whisked threw the corridor and off into theatre - stopping on the way to talk to the Dr preforming my c-section who popped out of another room covered in blood stating the lady in their also needed surgery. That's the last thing i clearly remember before my c-section.
Once in the operating room I don't know how I felt or what I was thinking, my epidural was boosted to full spinal block and although I couldn't feel pain I could feel things being moved and tugged about, and then we heard my daughters cry, daddy panda was with us and I just laughed as my babies scream grew louder and louder! She was weighed and cleaned up before we saw her - even though I'd stated I wanted skin to skin straight away and didn't want her weighing until after her first feed, it didn't matter though she was there in her daddy's arms and I could see her big black eyes looking at me! I promptly announced I was going to be sick and my options were either be sick on my newborn babies head or on the anesthetist next to me - ermmmmm guess which I chose!
Daddy Panda and Baby Bear were then led away to the recovery room while they finished stitching me up! It was during this time Baby Bear met Grandma who'd been waiting nervously outside! It was getting late and once I was in the recovery room and settled Daddy Panda and Grandma went home to get some much earned rest.
During the night i was checked on and it was discovered I'd had a substantial bleed and needed a blood transfusion and possibly further surgery, I was terrified. I was alone with my daughter who needed me for everything and the thought of more surgery and being parted from her was unbearable. Thankfully my bleeding eased and was classed as normal! I had a transfusion and stayed in the recovery room longer than normal.
As they wanted to keep an eye on me and hoards of visitors had descended I got moved to a side room but still close to theatre should I need to go back. I now truly believe my friends and family are liars - everyone coming gushing in telling me I looked wonderful considering I'd given birth 12 hours ago! LIES!!! I had blood going in one arm, antibiotics and fluids in the other, air cuffs on my legs keeping the blood pumping as I was still immobile, a catheter in, a drain from the c-section wound, and i hadn't eaten for over 48 hours let alone washed!!!
I am glad my friends and family were so keen to visit, i was especially touched that my best friend and daughter's god mother, had got word in South America that I'd given birth and sent her mother round with gifts and of course with demands of photos! I never expected Granny R (as I call her) to come to the hospital but it made me feel much closer to my Bessie who I'd been missing endlessly since she left several weeks earlier to explore the world!
Unfortunately the in laws also visited, I love daddy pandas dad he's a true doting grandad and our relationship has grown endlessly! However daddy panda's mum is married to someone who's much harder to get on with and he decided it would be appropriate to take a picture of me in afore mentioned state and post it to facebook, despite me saying no. Sadly this is just one of many incidents which has no lead me to avoid him at all possible costs - something that will probably come up in future posts!
Finally made it up to the postnatal ward and by this point I had no idea or concept of day/night/time anything! I was struggling to breastfeed my daughter and she was becoming increasingly distressed when offered boob! Eventually she ended up being combination fed which became formula fed by 14 days old. I just couldn't do it anymore, my milk wasn't there my daughter was heartbreakingly distressed and it wasn't fair to either of us to go through that kind of misery. I had my stitches removed on day 5 and was discharged on day 6 I think.
By day 10 I'd been discharged all together from the midwife team and was waiting to meet my health visitor. I feel that's an appropriate point to end my birth story as that's what this was it was the birth of my beautiful girl, who was born at 22.41 on 31/07/10 via emergency c section weighing 9lb7oz and measuring 63Cm's in length!
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